I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now. I just really don’t know what to say or how to word anything.

Last week I found out a friend in Chicago passed away suddenly. She was only 31. I shouldn’t even be writing a post like this. I shouldn’t be losing friends at such a “young” age. What do you say? How do you react? It’s all very weird. Plus I feel bad that I can’t be there for my friends and her family. They understand of course. I wish I could just jump on a plane and head out there but that takes money and time off work, both of which I have none of.

Plus it’s weird on the Facebook level. Her page is still there. I even left her a message. When I’m playing a silly game, I still almost send a “gift,” forgetting it won’t be accepted or returned. Over time things like this won’t be an issue but it’s still so weird. Plus it really makes you think. It reminds you to make sure all your own “paperwork” is in order. Is my 401K beneficiary form updated? Should I think about a Will? And in this day and age, does someone have the passwords to my accounts? How will “online” friends find out? Do I provide information to one and instruct them to spread the word? It’s all very morbid but that’s what the death of a 31 year old friend does.

It makes you take a look at life. Have you reached your important goals? Do the people in your life know how important they are to you? Have you given back enough? Have you been too much of an asshole? A pushover? Should you take that leap?

All I know for sure is it’s going to be weird when I visit in December and she’s not there. It’ll be very weird.