I love you. You know this. You’re my version of coffee. Every morning we’d greet each other and you’d help me face the day. But lately, you haven’t been helping my face. What’s up with that? I love you. I’d never harm you! So why must you cause my face to break out? I’m not 15! I’m too old to deal with this shit. That’s why, as much as it pains me, I’m breaking up with you. It won’t be forever, just for now. You’re very tempting. I know I’ll come back to you in a moment of weakness. As far as our morning routine though, it’s over. I’m sorry. Please, don’t look at me with that puppy dog face. STOP!